Thursday, September 29, 2011

Does Your Teen Have a Toxic Friend? Use These 20 Questions to Find Out

Sep 15, 2011 :: by Irene S. Levine, PhD :: The Partnership at drugfree.org

toxicWhile most teen friendships have their highs and lows, toxic friends are characterized by consistent patterns of negativity.

Yet, the signs of a toxic teen friendship aren’t always obvious to teens or their parents. Here are 20 questions to help your child determine if a friendship may be bad for her – either mentally, physically or both.


1. Does scheduling time to see your friend feel like an obligation rather than a pleasure?

2. Do you ever feel trapped when you are together?

3. Do you feel tense in her presence?

4. Does she often show off at your expense?

5. Is she never reliably there when you need her?

6. Is she self-centered, sneaky, deceitful or disloyal?

7. Does she have habitually bad judgment?

8. Are you giving more than you’re getting?

9. Does the relationship feel out-of-sync?

10. Do you feel emotionally drained when you are with her?

11. Do you come away from her feeling depressed?

12. When you talk, does it feel like she isn’t listening or just doesn’t get it?

13. Do you dread her phone calls, emails and/or text messages?

14. Do you hate when you see her screen name online when you look at your buddy list?

15. Are her emails too long to read?

16. Does she always choose to spend her time with her boyfriend, over you, given the opportunity?

17. Has she flirted with your boyfriend or the guy you like?

18. Has she done anything to undermine get you in trouble at school?

19. Can you trust her to keep your confidences?

20. Has she betrayed you?

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